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26 September 2008 @ 03:47 pm
FIC: A General Nuisance, PGish (Niou/Kirihara + Urayama--Happy Birthday, Kirihara!)  
Title: A General Nuisance
Author: Ociwen
Wordcount: 1796
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: Konomi owns all, but the musicals exploit it.
Summary: Niou is being a general nuisance.
Author's Notes: Thanks to doingfirst and pixxers for prompting. For Kirihara's birthday--Happy Birthday, Kirihara Akaya! You're still the favourite ace of Rikkai! &hearts

Niou hangs around the tennis courts. He flops down on the wooden benches. Sometimes, he does his math homework. Sometimes, he tears pages from his textbook and tosses them at Kirihara's back. He slurps on a carton of milk tea as loud as he can.

Kirihara has a tendency to play tennis and forget about the rest. He plays. The team newbies stand around and look confused. One, pushed by his friends, stumbles up to Niou.

Niou cracks an eye open. "Eh?"

The newbie is green. He looks torn between barfing and passing out. Instead, he squeaks. "Can you show us how to play tennis?"

Niou scratches the back of his head. "Eh?"

The newbie passes out. The bench gives him a concussion. Niou steps over his carcass. He hopes onto the courts. A kid with a tail on the top of his head mops up the pieces of players left by Kirihara-buchou's game.

Niou gets an ear stuck in his sneaker.

He grabs Kirihara by the neck and ruffles his hair. The kid yells. He flaps his arms and shouts, "SENPAI!" but he's got a good 5cm on Niou now. He squirms. Niou licks his finger and stuffs it in Kirihara's ear.

"Yo," he says.

Kirihara shakes his head out. He cleans his ear with a sweat towel. "why are you hangin around, Niou-senpai?" He grins, cheeky bastard, and swaggers around. "Miss me?"

Niou blows a raspberry.

But he can't think of a better reason for showing up, either.


Niou tries to pants Marui at lunch.

Marui's fat ass gets in the way.

"What are you trying to do?" he yells. "Jeez, you fag!"

Niou removes his hands from Marui's waistband.

Yagyuu frowns. "Don't act like a child, Niou-kun," he says. He doesn't laugh.

Niou pantses one of the newbies after school. The kid runs off and cries by the water fountain. His snot drips into the pile of bodies that Urayama has swept up.

Kirihara cackles. Until Niou attacks him with a headlock and a noogie.

Niou gets gel all over his hands. It stinks.

Kirihara says, "Serves you right."

Niou sticks out his tongue at the kid.


Kirihara sweeps the courts.

Niou pushes the line marker. He raises his hand and says hi.

Kirihara gives him a narrow eye. He covers his hair with his hands. The broom handle slams onto the court. The pile of leaves and dust forms a cloud. Kirihara says, "Aw, fuck."

The field line maker squeaks. Niou hums.

"What are you doing?" Kirihara asks.

Niou opens the bottom of the line marker. "I'm redecorating."

Kirihara's eyes go wide. "Oi! HEY! SENPAI STOP!"

Niou makes two strokes of the first character of his name before Kirihara tackles him to the ground. Niou slides out from under Kirihara's arm. He flips over. He stands up. Kirihara jumps away.

Niou jumps at him. He latches onto Kirihara's back and ruffles his hair.

"You're so annoying!" Kirihara grumbles.

Niou sniffs his hand. It's not sticky. "No gel today?"


Niou falls asleep on the bench. It's overcast and autumn. The tennis newbies don't smell so bad this week.

A shadow over his face wakes him up. Niou looks at Kirihara. His face is distorted this close. Niou yawns and sits up.

"Don't you have your own tennis team?" Kirihara asks.

The kid with the hair tuft walks by. "Bye, buchou! Your balls are in the shed now!"

Kirihara turns red. Niou snickers. His face feels flushed, too.

"It's more fun bothering you," Niou says. He leaves out the part about picking up balls in high school. Kirihara can find out for himself next year.

Niou strikes. Sleep has made him slow. He has an elbow around Kirihara's neck and a grin on his face when Kirihara attacks. He grabs Niou by the collar and pulls. Their faces smash together. Kirihara's mouth is on his. Niou tries to pull away. Kirihara has a tight hold that chokes. On the recoil, Niou opens his mouth to yell.

Kirihara's tongue is hot and slimy. There's something poking his leg. Niou's eyes pop out. His nose hurts from bumping Kirihara's.

He kisses back. His mouth is filled with saliva and the taste of Calpis.

And then Niou runs away.


Urayama is minding his own business. He sweeps the courts. He cleans the showers. He posts the games schedule for buchou on the bulletin board on Monday morning when he arrives at the clubhouse at 7:05 sharp.

He skips through his laps. He says hello to all of the freshmen. He saves his biggest, brightest hello for buchou.

Buchou drags his feet.

Buchou sighs. His shoulders sink with the weight of the world. Urayama is jealous that buchou is so tall, so he says it. "Chin up, buchou," he says. "There's a transfer student who hasn't played you yet. He'll be fun!"

Buchou slumps onto a bench. He shifts his eyes.

"Hey," buchou says.

Urayama blinks. He beams and stands up straight. His hair curls out, then curls back up on the top of his head.

"You look gay," buchou says.

"So, like, if a dude kisses another guy is that, like…"

Buchou leans close and whispers: "…gay?"

Buchou's face is pink, but he hasn't run any laps yet. Urayama's mouth hangs open. "Er…I like boobies," he says. There are three cheerleaders in the stands. Their boobies jiggle when they swish their pompoms. One day, when Urayama is captain, they'll cheer for him instead of buchou.

"That's really gay, buchou," he says. "Is it your senpai friend who kisses guys?"

Buchou grabs him by the hair and punches him in the side. "Shut up," he says. "I'll crush you."

Buchou looks really depressed when he stomps off. The cheerleaders call out his name. They swish their pompoms and Urayama beams when their boobies jiggle.


Kirihara hangs around the tennis courts. He sits on the plastic bucket seats and wrings his hands. Sometimes, he brings a Calpis to drink. Sometimes, he tries to throw the empty PET bottle into the trash bin on the edge of the courts. He never reaches.

Niou-senpai picks up balls for an hour or two. Then, he pushes a broom around. If he looks into the stands, Kirihara ducks his head.

Marui-senpai always says, "Akaya's watching us again. Think he misses us?"

Kirihara can't think of a better reason why he shows up.


Kirihara moves closer. He brings binoculars, but he keeps those in his backpack. His hair feels itchy and the gel is cold and hard. It smells like glue today. When Niou looks up into the stands, Kirihara swallows. He waves. His mitten is all twisted.

Niou looks down. He has a surgical mask on. Kirihara can't see Niou-senpai's mouth. It makes his insides hot when he remembers. The kiss was kinda hot. Niou's tongue was slippery and Kirihara was hard. He squirms in his seat. The plastic squeaks.

Kirihara has a canister of balls. He throws the first ball. It lands on the bottom bench of the stands. Then it bounces into the garbage bin.

Kirihara frowns.

He throws the second ball. It bounces behind Niou. There are not many people playing. The sound echoes. Niou stands up straight. He narrows his eyes at Kirihara.

Kirihara scowls. His mouth hurts. He hurls the last ball.

It hits Niou square in the back with a smuck!

Niou whips his head around.

Kirihara runs away.


Niou sweeps the courts.

Kirihara scuffs his new sneaker on the clay. It makes a brown mark. He says hi.

Niou pushes the broom along the net. The leaves skim the edge of the broom and leave a line. Niou walks past it. He turns around and pushes the line the other direction. The leaves crunch when he steps on them.

"Aren't you gonna sweep those up?" Kirihara asks. He swallows. His neck feels prickly and his hair stands up. It's cold out. Niou-senpai only wears a tracksuit jacket.

"Nope," Niou says.

Kirihara scratches the back of his neck. He laughs. "Er…are you redecorating?"

"Nope," Niou says.

Kirihara frowns. He scrunches up his forehead. There is no line marker around. Kirihara scuffs his sneaker in the clay ground. His characters are shaky. His running shoe makes a scraping sound. He is halfway through the last hiragana character when Niou looks over.

Kirihara cocks his head to the side. "Aren't you gonna ruffle my hair?" he asks.

Niou sweeps up the sorry. It makes a dust cloud. "Nope," he says.

Kirihara sneezes.


Kirihara falls asleep on the bench. It's overcast and almost winter. The cuffs of his coat are crusted with snot. Today, he forgot his scarf in the tennis clubhouse.

Urayama asked, "Did you find the balls I put away for you yesterday, buchou?" His ears wiggled. He beamed.

"Shut up," Kirihara said. "I don't care."

Urayama skipped away. Kirihara walked across the grassy field to the high school courts.

A heavy-breathing shadow over his face wakes him up. Kirihara looks up at Niou-senpai. His breath makes a frosty film on Kirihara's face. He sits up too fast. He hits Niou in the chin with his head.

"Ow, you stupid seaweed head," Niou says. He rubs his jaw. His mole moves when he says, "Puri."

"Sorry," Kirihara says.

Sanada walks by. He lifts his cap up. He glares at Kirihara. "Go back to your own team," he says.

Kirihara turns red. Niou snickers. Kirihara sticks his tongue out at both of them.

When Sanada is gone, Kirihara ruffles his hair. Niou turns. He licks his bottom lip. Kirihara feels hot and squirmy. He leans forward. Then he rocks back. The plastic bucket seat creaks.

"Don't you want to be a pest to me anymore?" he asks.

Niou shrugs.

Kirihara thinks about it for a minute. He attacks. His bulky coat makes it awkward. His mittens aren't grippy enough. He gets an elbow around Niou's neck and he tugs on Niou's rat tail. Niou is fast. He tips his head back. Their heads knock together. Kirihara's teeth rattle. Niou's mouth is on his chin. It creeps up to Kirihara's lips. Niou leaves a saliva trail with his tongue. It's sloppy. There are strings of saliva when Kirihara opens his mouth. He doesn't pull away.

Their noses bump. Niou ruffles the back of Kirihara's head. Kirihara wiggles. His pants feel tight. Niou sucks on his bottom lip. His teeth are sharp. Milkiness cloys to his tongue. Kirihara licks it. He doesn't wipe his mouth when Niou catches his breath.

"Do you wanna make out?" Kirihara asks.

"That's kinda gay," Niou says.

Kirihara waits.

Niou grabs him in a headlock. Kirihara yells. Niou messes up his hair with a noogie and says, "Okay."

We're only several miles from the sunanimegoil on September 26th, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
Woa. I like the vaguely first grade feel of simple sentences. Totally bizarre.
I, Ociwen: yagyuu says you are a tardreposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:53 pm (UTC)
They must be pretty smart in first grade--it's hard to write in sparse style!
We're only several miles from the sunanimegoil on September 28th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I mean, (I realized that my comment could be taken as criticism, but it really wasn't XD) it was totally different, and it was like... basic, but at the same time it still said so much. It was a totally different feel from anything else I've read. That must have been hard to write it.
land of godless sodomites: yanakiripixxers on September 26th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
I think this only serves to illustrate that which we already know to be true: Niou and Kirihara should always kiss. ♥

The inclusion of Urayama and his preoccupation with boobs was more appreciated than I can express.

"Bye, buchou! Your balls are in the shed now!" <-----THAT. Yes.
I, Ociwen: ack!reposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
Niou gets around, doesn't he? Yagyuu...Kirihara...Sanada...

Urayama...hee. I don't know where it came from Pix, but thank you!! It felt right, Urayama and boobies. Someone's gotta watch those balls and like the titties! ;P

(Thank you!)
Maye: Yagyunagimayezinha on September 27th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
Is it really Kirihara's BD? O.o ::is forgetful::
WEll, ids always impressive the boyish POV and how gross niou can be. XD
<3 for the Sanada cameo and Urayama is love, he'll take the world ad the cheerleaders!!

Thanks for sharing this!
I, Ociwen: senpai-kouhaireposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
It was his birthday on the 25th. Like you, I forgot.

This but skims the depths of the grossness to where Niou could go. >:D >:D >:D

Urayama will rule the world. One day.

Thank you!
Mayemayezinha on September 28th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
It happens. >.>;;

Yes. Ew. ^^;;

Of course (is it him in your icon at the left? Y/Y?)

I, Ociwen: ack!reposoir on September 28th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
Who else would have the beautiful swirling tuft on the top of his head? ;P
doovlynsidhedoovlynsidhe on September 27th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)
I loved the 5-year old mentality of Kirihara and Niou's mating ritual. It was so boyish and awkward and wonderful. ^.^

I love how you write these two. They are so cute together! Kirihara should always get Niou kisses.

Oh, and much <3 to the Urayama in this story. How did such a sweet little boy wind up at Rikkai I wonder?
I, Ociwen: senpai-kouhaireposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you so very much!

There must be something wrong with Urayama, no doubt. Or maybe they start off sweet and innocent and it's all downhill from there...;)
Ara: Simply Gorgeousplatinumpair on September 27th, 2008 12:52 pm (UTC)
Loved it. Niou and Kirihara make such a cute pair.
I, Ociwen: strange relationship [genki + masa]reposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
They do, don't they? ;)

Thank you!
ensein on September 27th, 2008 09:48 pm (UTC)
If you were forced to write only one pairing (lol), and I could pick what, NiouKiri it'd be. Seriously. ♥ those two together.

("Bye, buchou! Your balls are in the shed now!" -- this will never get old.)
I, Ociwen: niou is lovereposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:58 pm (UTC)
Balls puns are just...YES! Too stupid to ever get old. IMO. At least, for teenagers.

Niou goes well with most things. Except, maybe, Atobe...

(Thank you so much!!)
Marriage for Allvenivincere on September 27th, 2008 09:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, ahh! I never thought about how they'd ever get together, but this makes sense. Pranks and asking without asking and messy, open-mouthed unskilled kisses. And as with my comment in your LJ, all the elements are in place, with no words wasted. This is a brilliantly illustrated story. :-)
I, Ociwen: watch out [niou + kirihara]reposoir on September 28th, 2008 06:59 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much, Veni!

Niou and Kirihara get together in many ways. Mostly by accident. And it helps that they like similar things and jokes and slimy kisses. ;)
the pirate's purple boner wifedoingfirst on September 27th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)

Niou tries to pants Marui at lunch.

Marui's fat ass gets in the way.

"What are you trying to do?" he yells. "Jeez, you fag!"

Niou removes his hands from Marui's waistband.

YOU ARE A TENSAI. SERIOUSLY. Your ability to make me lol is so immense, that I should make a statue of you for it. uiosdfhiusdfg I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING, HAHAHA

"You look gay," buchou says.

"So, like, if a dude kisses another guy is that, like…"

Buchou leans close and whispers: "…gay?"

Awww, Kirihara-kun, it's okay to get erections and want to kiss Niou-senpai! <33333! that way you can be number at head, yo. ;D

(oh I forgot to mention - SALIVA KISS FTW!)

This was brill! Urayama was a clear stand out for boobies and brilliance. I really liked the way you wrote it - showing rather than telling. It really worked for me. And ahahaha, Niou's pranks are hardcore awesome. NICELY DONE, A ;D

I, Ociwen: ack!reposoir on September 28th, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC)

Niou wasn't feeling that inspired that day. Too bad his so-called friends are too "mature" to appreciate his efforts :/

The saliva kiss was totes your idea. Thank you!!

Urayama likes girls. Like Yukimura. Except when he likes Sanada and everyone is gay. Except Urayama. ;)

Urayama: I'm not jealous of your gay germs.
Yukimura: But you're jealous of the rest?
Urayama: *scuffs sneaker* 'o course...:/
Yukimura: Good boy. *pats on head*
the pirate's purple boner wifedoingfirst on September 29th, 2008 08:58 am (UTC)

You are converting me to the Urayama ways. Urayama can talk about boobies with Marui, while Jackal is off making out with Izumi-chan!

(biała): NiouAkaya :: laughterperfectassassin on September 30th, 2008 02:10 pm (UTC)
Aww, they're adorable weirdos. ♥
I, Ociwen: strange relationship [genki + masa]reposoir on October 1st, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
ore-samathesundaywriter on September 30th, 2008 02:52 pm (UTC)
That was cute. And omg, boobies! *I just had to say it =P*

Sanada walks by. He lifts his cap up. He glares at Kirihara. "Go back to your own team," he says. Oh, Sanada ♥
I, Ociwen: senpai-kouhaireposoir on October 1st, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
Somehow, Sanada steals the show sometimes ;)

Thank you! (Urayama likes boobies, unlike his buchou!)
crypticmadness on October 1st, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
I loved the style♥
Also, Urayama and boobies=LOL.
I, Ociwen: senpai-kouhaireposoir on October 2nd, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!